We have four children and several grandchildren. My wife and me we both had successful careers in life and are now enjoying our retirement. We both attended schools where religion was one of the compulsory subjects until we were both about 15 years old. As for me I did not like that subject and when it disappeared from the curriculum it was not to my regret. My Family was not religious, church attendance was non-existent. From schools I just remembered some stories from the Bible, and, of course, the Ten commandments:
- 1. Thou shall have no other gods before me.
- 2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven images.
- 3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.
- 4. Remember the Sabbath day and keep it Holy.
- 5. Honor your father and mother.
- 6. Thou shalt not murder.
- 7. Thou shalt not commit adultery.
- 8. Thou shalt not steal.
- 9. Thou shall not bear false witness against your neighbour.
- 10. Thou shall not covet your neighbour.
As a child I used to know them
all by heart. Knew, albeit did not understand, especially those concerning
adultery and the “covetance”; first three seemed unimportant since I was not
religious, others were simply obvious. Much later in life I discovered a poem
by an American poet by the name of Ehrman that seemed to me as a continuation
of these commandments:
Go placidly amid the noise and
the haste and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible,
without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even
to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the
spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for
always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested
in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing
fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full
of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons
strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be
cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as
perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering
the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of
fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are
a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right
to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is
unfolding as it should. Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive
Him to be. And whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of
life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Our household has not been religious, our children have not been brought up in religious spirit, although they have never been discouraged to be interested in religion.
During life’s struggles, jobs, incomes, sicknesses, injuries, relatives, and as the children were coming, growing and leaving, we have compiled our own “commandments”, our own “desideratas” that we and our children were trying to follow:
(Find good parents for yourself)
Be on good terms with your
Family, both close and distant;
Find, keep and treasure good
friends;
Discover your weak and strong
points;
Create your own place where to
live;
Start and bring up your own Family.
These “commandments” of ours have been created by all of us, around the kitchen table, around games, in the garden, during visits and during various Family occasions. Recently we discovered that our children keep these texts, the Commandments, Desiderata and our Family “commandments” pasted on the walls of their home offices. Needless to say, all three of them lived according the three rules mentioned above, and all three of them are happy in their Family lives and very successful in their undertakings.
The fourth, our younger son, doesn’t have such wall, he
lives with us in our house. For the last 30 years he used to live far away
where he happened to be working: in rented accommodations, in dormitories, etc.
He is living with us because we took pity on him, since in the course of the
last 2 years he had several major operations: brain tumour, broken pelvis and
right forearm, mangled right shoulder, etc. Most of them, if not all of them, resulted
from his not entirely careful and steady way of life. Of his friends we are
not aware, except for the few from his childhood; he has no family of his own,
nor his own place to live.
Being of secretive nature we are
not aware of the detail of his life away from us, we do not know about his life
philosophy, his gods; we are sure he hasn’t stolen anything, that he is not a
murderer, that sort of activity doesn’t occur in our Family…
